So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
