I'm gonna have a badass scar
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your penis caused this!
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