**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
