is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
