i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I AM VODKA MAN
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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