You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
