Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
