just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
