i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
