Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
