wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That accounts for only three of the penises
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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