My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
