the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and she was petting her beer can
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
