the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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