I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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