i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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