Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize