Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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