My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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