he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
where are you?
Hypothermia
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
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"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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