I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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