My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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