Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
not ubering you a puppy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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