when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
