Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
