I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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