haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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