The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
