You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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