Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"

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  (678): I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute" http://tfl.nu/6gqy
  Replies (10) Good night (1601) Bad night (3461)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.

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  (+27): I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal. http://tfl.nu/i549
  Replies (98) Good night (937) Bad night (3988)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  myspace Music?

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  (608): How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...? (1-608): myspace Music? http://tfl.nu/kj29
  Replies (98) Good night (4328) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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  (248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on
  Replies (18) Good night (4591) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity

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  (508): Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity http://tfl.nu/5mrd
  Replies (19) Good night (2005) Bad night (2781)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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  (513): He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/uxq8
  Replies (4) Good night (3308) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

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  (949): The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses. http://tfl.nu/cf7g
  Replies (25) Good night (3612) Bad night (2149)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.

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  (201): St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany. http://tfl.nu/1100
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (1999)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate

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  (360): Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate http://tfl.nu/9xzc
  Replies (6) Good night (1554) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet

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  (44): All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet http://tfl.nu/lx51
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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  (413): You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it http://tfl.nu/hn11
  Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.

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  (506): Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals. http://tfl.nu/0nga
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered

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  (303): Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered http://tfl.nu/0k0t
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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  (716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes

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  (580): Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes http://tfl.nu/f88p
  Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (174)

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