I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
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I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low