Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
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I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.