at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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