Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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  (313): remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck. http://tfl.nu/0g1v
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (608)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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  (808): It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex. http://tfl.nu/n6q7
  Replies (29) Good night (582) Bad night (4337)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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  (440): I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!" http://tfl.nu/07u8
  Replies (21) Good night (6645) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6337) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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  (701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx
  Replies (8) Good night (3092) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (3001) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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  (484): The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread. http://tfl.nu/tsab
  Replies (1) Good night (2601) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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  (217): he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon... http://tfl.nu/u7gi
  Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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  (614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.

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  (646): How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope. http://tfl.nu/0uer
  Replies (2) Good night (1310) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  WHY AM I NOT THERE?

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  (604): Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday (1-604): WHY AM I NOT THERE? http://tfl.nu/j17k
  Replies (7) Good night (1196) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.

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  (202): Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship. http://tfl.nu/usel
  Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (2303)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Breakfast of champions

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is that a dick crepe?

  (425): View more from Washington

  It is indeed

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  (425): Breakfast of champions (206): Is that a dick crepe? (425): It is indeed http://tfl.nu/tzit
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up

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  (720): This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up http://tfl.nu/dnma
  Replies (1) Good night (235) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.

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  (757): Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand. http://tfl.nu/tvqn
  Replies (4) Good night (369) Bad night (542)

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