Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
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sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!