Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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