forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
