Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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