I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
