Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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