woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize