I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
