Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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