Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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