I think my fart just growled at me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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