Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize