So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it was like eating out sand paper
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
