that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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