Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
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Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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