Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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