lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
