i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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