I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
