ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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