normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize