dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I deserve this hangover.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
