I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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