So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's official drugs can't kill me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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