she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
you never un-have a 4some
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
