butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
