this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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