I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
