my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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