she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize